Gluten Free Girl???

This is for those of you that have been asking about how that "gluten free" thing is going... The title IS a rip off of the real Gluten Free Girl, and if you are interested in GF cookery, read her blog. She's engaging, funny, brilliant and also married to a chef. (We've got that chef thing in common...)

I've been gluten free for nearly three months. Not ONE bite of Rob's breads, ravioli or gnocchi. Not even any cinnamon roll goo (just in case). Certainly no Girl Scout Cookies (torture, I tell you). And how is it going (you may have already asked...)

Well, it didn't change my life. I've heard stories of people losing 40-50 pounds in a year after going Gluten Free. Me? I gained weight. WTH? So, was it fair of me to expect that making a small (although in my world SIGNIFICANT) dietary change would transform me? Probably not. And I did notice that my congestion significantly diminished, my joint pain wasn't quite as bad (despite that extra 7 pounds - again, WTH??) and my mental fog was a little less... prevalent. Also my "tummy trouble" that has plagued me for a LONG time... was better.

So this weekend, while Rob and I were at the coast for nearly 48 hours of downtime (it took us about 26 hours for the realization that we really weren't going to be disturbed and we had NO obligations to do anything for anyone, anywhere), we had dinner. Not just any dinner, but we splurged on two MONSTER Dungeness Crabs from Local Ocean Seafood, where we had lunch. (I had the Garlic & Crab soup and Crab Cocktail. No such thing as too much crab, right?).

Our usual accompaniment for such a treat (pre GF me) would have been a really good loaf of sourdough. Well my friend Lisa told me about a bakery in Nye that might just have such a loaf... of course she didn't realize I was GF at the time... but I threw caution to the wind, grabbed a couple of mini boules (one whole wheat, one not), a bottle of Elk Cove Pinot Gris for Rob and headed back for the feast. (The bread is dead center at the top...)

The crab? Amazing. So sweet and TONS of meat. The bread? Just as good as promised. So SO yummy. I only had two pieces, since my crab was so freaking HUGE... and I felt good about just indulging a tiny bit. And yesterday? I felt fine. So I was thinking that maybe I can get away with a little every now and then. Now, I wasn't thinking I was going to toss back saltines or manufactured cookies (I'm looking at you, Thin Mints in the back of the freezer...) just for the heck of it, but for something really REALLY good? I'm in.

This morning? Oh. My. God. The pain. (anyone not interested in my tummy trouble should move along now...) For those of you keeping score, we are currently at Janet: 1 (the bread was so good!), Gluten: 5 (payback is a bitch). So today, I've been feeling pretty bloated and none too social (my kids have to love me, right?). Also, it could be my imagination, but the brain fog seems to be creeping in (or it could have been here all along, hell, I can't remember...).

Back on the Gluten Free train for me I guess.

Unless it was the crab...

Insured White Guy Driving Car

So, Rob's new (to him) wheels are, well, old. His Montero was starting to require more daily care than an ICU patient. So, when I heard of an available and affordable '89 Honda Accord Rob jumped at it. Which is to say, he said "If it can get me to work and home, I'll take it."

We had reached the point where we could not afford to be picky, because we REALLY couldn't afford to be a one car family. So, car is acquired, and after a few weeks some necessary paperwork issues finally start to resolve. Now mind you, this car was available and affordable. I did NOT say it was legal (to drive). The tags were 18 months expired, and getting the title transferred proved to be a major challenge. (No offense to my friends that work at the DMV, but seriously? Not the same answer, in three different encounters.)

So Rob was tooling along, with all the necessary paperwork in said car (oh, by this point, we've named her Daisy), and he's pulled over. He knew it was a possibility, given the condition of the tags, but finding time to get BACK to the DMV had been tough. So, the office walks up and asks for his "license and regist... errr, ummm, license please". Yeah, good recovery.

After patiently explaining aforementioned paperwork snags, cop scratches his head and says, well, you need to get this taken care of, I'm documenting that you received a warning. Right, okay thanks then. And Rob starts Daisy, waits the requisite 8.3 minutes required for her to get her self "presentable" and ready to move, and heads on about his business. A couple days later, Rob makes it a priority to get to the DMV, and get said paperword stamped, notarized, sealed and blessed by the appropriate civil servants. (Yeah, he got my tags too. As Pederson kept reminding me, "Hey Janet, your tags expired yesterday", "Hey Janet, your tags are still expired" to "Hey Janet, you know your tags are 2 weeks expired?!??!!". Yes, thanks Ryan. I do appreciate the reminders. And thank you, Honey, for actually remembering to take care of mine while you were there too.)

Any hoo, Rob's new stickers are on the car, but the title may take 4-6 weeks (see above reference to complicated title transfer paperwork and DMV). So Rob is tooling along, minding his own business when he sees a cop pull out behind him, and follow him until he parks in United Grocers parking lot. He goes in and shops, loads aforementioned supplies in the car, and once he pulls out on the street, WHOOP WHOOP, the light show starts.

"So, you just buy this car?" Officer Dos asks. "Yessir I did." "Got the tags just recently did ya?" Quieries Dos. "Yessir." Rob explains complicated paperwork and DMV situation to Dos. Rob offers all copies of processed, stamped, paid and blessed paperwork to Dos for review. "Nah, it's good. I guess they just haven't had time to update their system yet. You have a good day now."

Okay, so at this point, I'm asking Rob - "Why didn't you ask WTH he pulled you over to begin with? I mean, what's the deal? You had your tags on, right???

Rob says, "Yes, Honey. I did. But apparently the '89 Honda Accord in Frost Blue is frequently viewed by cops as a 'auto of potential interest'. In other words, my car is being profiled."

At this poing, I haved realized that I'm going to make a million. Selling bumper stickers. Because if you show me proof of insurance, and I provide you with a bumper sticker for $5 that says "INSURED _____ DRIVING CAR" that cops will acknowledge as vetted by me, and therefore not worth pulling over (just for a "looksee" that is), you will save time and money by not being pulled over for no good reason, and the municipality will save money because I'm pretty sure it costs the City Police Department more than $5 to pull someone over and not get a decent fine out of the deal. So, my friends, I think this is a WIN/WIN/WIN.

Please send your orders (along with valid proof of insurance) to me so I can get your personalized INSURED DRIVER ON BOARD sign or bumper sticker right out to you. Special font & color requests are welcome.

Oh and of course, all products will have a Daisy on them.